‘A long journey ahead with nothing in my pocket and no life-lines…’

Ya Rabb, the days near me and instead of seeing them as a long-awaited Spring…I see them as a raging storm.

Ya Rahman, forgive me for my negligence all this while.

Ya Raheem, I chose You.

You already know and I don’t want to trangress by saying  that but I am trying to remind myself of all the times I tried hard enough for Your Sake.

That I can still do it. That I can overcome the waswasa the Shaytan whispers into my heart. That… I need not fear what lies ahead.

I want to change 360 degrees, inside-out, every cell of mine, every atom of mine.

I want to change completely. In totality.

But I don’t want the world around me to change for the worse.

Ya Allah, change it for the better only. So that it is conducive to the health of my Eeman.

I know what’s coming ahead so avert it from me if it’s not good for my Akhira and if it is, then bless me in it.

I tried to emulate one of your slaves whom you gave good news of Paradise.

Umm Sulaym RA, the lady of patience.

But I’m falling short of that very quality of patience so I turn to You again.

The patience to forgive.

The patience to learn.

The patience to remain steadfast.

The patience to keep moving ahead.

The patience to not lose focus.

The patience to be patient.

I am that same girl Ya Rabb who loved Your Words thirteen years ago.

I am that same girl, now a woman, who can’t bear to live without them anymore.

I can’t.

And I certainly cannot bear to live with those who don’t love You first.

So please Ya Raheem, bless me with Noble Companionship of the Quraan and Your Righteous Slaves and Noble stay in this Dunia and Akhira.

Please make every road I take lead to the Valleys of Paradise!

Please Ya Rabb don’t leave me in Darknesses in this Dunia…

I’m afraid of the Dark…

especially the darkness of grave with no intercession. Ya Rabb, I seek refuge in You from that!

Ya Wahhab, Please illuminate my Dunia and Akhira with beneficial knowledge!

Let not my words be insincere and let me take the appropriate actions.

And make my fingers and eyes a witness of my efforts in khayr.

For anything short of Your Pleasure would break my heart.

I’m scared to swear by You because I don’t even know whether I’m sincere in my claim.

Please Ya Rahman, turn with Your Mercy of Forgiveness and Hidaya to this slave!

Because it’s only You who Listens and You who can save me from a wretched future

and Only You can grant me the means to be of those with whom You are Pleased

and those who are Pleased with You.


And some of them draw near to others, questioning. Saying: “Aforetime, we were afraid (of the punishment of Allâh) in the midest of our families. “So Allâh has been gracious to us, and has saved us from the torment of the Fire. “Verily, We used to invoke Him (Alone and none else) before. Verily, He is Al-Barr (the Most Subtle, Kind, Courteous, and Generous), the Most Merciful.” [Surah At-Tur, 52:25-28]

And they will say: “All the praises and thanks are to Allâh, Who has removed from us (all) grief. Verily, our Lord is indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most Ready to appreciate (good deeds and to recompense). Who, out of His Grace, has lodged us in a home that will last forever; where, toil will touch us not, nor weariness will touch us.” [Surah Fatir, 35:34-35]


Allahumma innee as’aluka jannata wa ma qarraba ilaiha min qawlin wa ‘amal. Wa a ‘udhu bika minan-nari wa ma qarraba ilaiha min qawlin wa ‘amal. Ameen.


And Allah SWT Knows Best.


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