I shall Picture my Paradise through Forgiveness…

‘What does it matter that it matters now?
Did it matter then?
That is the real question. And in it is the real answer.’


The Way of Allah SWT, it is what He SWT loves doing:

The Prophet SAW taught, he said, “O Allah, You are Most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive me.” (reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah).

The Sunnah of Rasulalah SAW, it is what he SAW did consistently:

When he entered the city of Makkah after the victory, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, had in front of him some of his staunchest enemies. Those who fought him for many years, persecuted his followers and killed many of them. Now he had full power to do whatever he wanted to punish them for their crimes. It is reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, asked them, “What do you think I shall do to you now?” They pleaded for mercy. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Today I shall say to you what Joseph…” (referring to Prophet Yusuf, peace be upon him, as mentioned in the Qur’an, Yusuf 12:92) “…said to his brothers, ‘No blame on you today. Go, you are all free.” Soon they all came and accepted Islam at his hands. He forgave even Hind who had caused the murder of his uncle Hamza, may Allah be pleased with him. After killing him she had his body mutilated and chewed his liver. When she accepted Islam, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, even forgave her.

The Sunnah of Abu Bakr RA, it is what he did despite the incident of Ifk:

Some hypocrites of Madinah accused her. They tried to put dirt on her noble character. One of the slanderers turned out to be Mistah, the cousin of ‘Aisha’s father, Abu Bakr. Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, used to give financial help to this young man. After he slandered his daughter, Abu Bakr vowed not to help him any more. But Allah reminded Abu Bakr and through him all the Believers, “Let not those among you who are endued with grace and amplitude of means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen, those in want and those who migrated in the path of Allah. Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? Indeed Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Nur 24:22) Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, came out of his home and said, “Yes, indeed, I want Allah’s forgiveness.” He not only continued to help him but he gave him more.

Following the Sunnah of Allah SWT, His Beloved Messenger Rasulalah SAW, His Righteous Slaves, His Noble Prophets (may peace be upon them all), forgiveness and patience is most befitting for a Muslimah who loves Him and only Him. And no hurt/grudge can come between her and Allah SWT because she wishes to rise on the Day of Judgement with a sound heart.

She not only forgives but she completely has erased.

She has not only erased but she strives to be gentle and make extra special duaa for all those who’ve hurt her in the process of last few months.

Not because she seeks anything from anyone. It is Only His Fear that made her take the steps and it’s Only His Love that’ll make her strive for Ihsaan right now.

She knows that nobody in their right mind would want to hurt another individual. She also knows that some people don’t even know what really happened. If Allah SWT unveils even a fraction of what had happened, subhanAllah they’d never ever be able to forgive themselves. Let alone ask others for forgiveness. So alhamdolilah, He has His Wisdom in sealing people’s lips. And she above all prefers silence.


Why should she  want to do all that?

Because Allah SWT has preserved His Words as follows:

And those who avoid the greater sins, and Al-Fawâhish, and when they are angry, forgive (37).

The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof, but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allâh. Verily, He likes not the Zâlimûn (oppressors, polytheists, and wrong-doers). (40)

And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives that would truly be from the things recommended by Allâh(43). [Surah Ash-Shura]

She tried to seek His Pleasure before it started and she had ended it long before seeking His Pleasure.

Do not shackle yourself. Especially if Allah SWT gives you several chances.

What’s in it for you? Peace of mind.

What’s in it for me? More patience.

Allah SWT’s Mercy is Vast and He SWT wishes you to be blessed with it by this reminder through Umm Sulaym, assuming that even an ‘ounce’ of what the Slave of Allah SWT really meant was sincere.

Enough for me is My Rabb.

And enough for me is My Rabb’s Promises.

Even though I see not what lies ahead.

JUST Because Summaya RA pictured it.And because Asiya AS pictured it.

…I shall try to picture it too.

I ‘see’ my Paradise in every moment of challenge.

I am infinitely pleased and I’m extremely content.

She hopes He forgives her and His Slaves as well.

And Allah SWT knows best. To Him belongs the Greatest of Praise and the Thanks.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said to ibn Abbas: “if the whole nation were to gather together to benefit you they would only benefit you with that which Allah had already written you and if the whole nation were to gather to harm you they could only harm you with that which Allah had already written to harm you. The pen has been lifted and the ink has dried.” (Tirmidhi)

Indeed, it was Qadr. I embrace it with happiness so that He SWT is Pleased.

UmmS. is in no need of anyone to ask her for forgiveness. She doesn’t enjoy it. And besides just by saying, ‘sorry’, doesn’t restore the harm caused. But the grave’s a scarier place than this Dunia. Only good deeds then are one’s best companions. Although this is not a big act but it is certainly high-maintenance. May Allah SWT illuminate my grave with this act of mine because He SWT only Knows.Ameen.


Whether you all sought my forgiveness or not. There, spelled it out for all those individuals who thought I felt otherwise. Optimism, i.e. having good hopes from Allah SWT, drives me. Let it drive you too. It’s a great antidote. Alhamdolilah.

I hope to be eternally ‘beautiful’ through my high hopes of Him by taking the right steps.

Please remember me in your duaas, if there’s any room in them for a lost Amatullah such as me.

Forgiven and forgotten. End of story.

We all have weaknesses. Some people’s become apparent while others are hidden. May Allah SWT hide our faults from others but show them to us so that we can become better Muslims.Ameen.

Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullah,


P.S. You lost one life. You’ve got several many, i.e. to get a ‘hi-score’ or even get a bonus round. Please keep that in mind.

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