Islam: On Avoiding Arguments

Asalamoalaykum Warahmatullah,

Reminders to Avoid Arguments

  • What’s done is done. Don’t dig the past and resurrect the dead. Ignore people’s behaviour if it’s not according to what you wanted/expected. And ignore in the most excellent manner. This will prevent arguments.

—Anas bin Maalik Radiyallahu ‘Anhu says: “I remained in the service (of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam for ten years. He never once told me ‘Oof’. When I did something, he never asked me, why did you do so? When I did not do a certain task, he never asked me why I did not do it. Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam had the best character among all people. (and also possessed the most excellent features, so much so,) that I never felt a silk cloth, nor pure silk, nor any other thing softer than the palm of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam. Nor did I smell any musk or any other fragrance, more sweet smelling than the sweat of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam”. [Hadith sahih al-Tirmidhi 047 : 328 : Hadith 003]

  • Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you have to argue. And just because you argue doesn’t imply that you are right. What’s the point in arguing? What will you get out of it? If you think you need to argue with someone to show them you know more then you’re a fool because you don’t. If you knew better, you would’ve kept quiet because of the following hadith(notice how it talks about giving up when you are RIGHT and not giving up when you are wrong):

—“I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) – reported by Imam Abu Dawud]

  • Fine, you’re upset and the aggressive people almost want to punch the one with whom they are arguing. Such heightened level of animosity! SubhanAllah. Well don’t become an entertainer for your worst enemy, i.e. Shaytan. If you argue, he’s going to come sit and enjoy the show. Don’t believe me? Read the following hadith:

—Sa’eed bin Musayyeb says: Once the Prophet was sitting with his Companions, and one person used insulting words against Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him), causing him pain. But Abu Bakr remained silent. The person again used bitter words against Abu Bakr, and still Abu Bakr did not respond. The third time when this ignorant person hurt Abu Bakr with his tongue, Abu Bakr tried answering back.

At this point the Prophet got up. Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) asked him, “Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet replied, “No, but (when you remained silent) an angel came down from the heaven responding to this man’s talk. But the moment you started replying to that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting.” [Abu Dawood 041 4878]

  • When we define something for e.g. a doctor, we say he/she is someone who uses knowledge of diseases to treat people. We all know what a doctor is and we all agree to that definition. How can we define a Muslim?

—It is narrated on the authority of Jabir that he heard the (Holy Prophet) say: A Muslim is he from whose hand and tongue the Muslims are safe. [Sahih Al Muslim, Book 1, Number 0065]

—‘Abdullah b. Amr b. al-As is reported to have said: Verily a person asked the Messenger of Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) who amongst the Muslims was better. Upon this (the Holy Prophet) remarked: From whose hand and tongue the Muslims are safe. [Sahih Al Muslim, Book 1, Number 0064]

***

Words of Wisdom from the Pious (may Allah SWT be pleased with them all)

  • Bilaal ibn Sa’eed said: “If you see a man who is insistent, argumentative, and egotistic, then such a person’s loss is complete.”
  • Ibn Abi Lailaa said: “I would not argue with anyone, because I would either cause him to lie, or I would anger him, because arguing is one form of objection to another person’s speech, with intent to show defect in it, either in the word he uses or the meaning he implies or with the intention he intends. So, to stop an argument, stop the objections, so that every word you hear, if it is true, then acknowledge it and if it is vain or lying speech, or there is no connection with the deen, then leave it alone by keeping silent.”

***

Helpful Duaas

—Dua # 1 (0ne of the morning/evening duaa):

Translation: O Allah Knower of the Unseen and the Seen, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, Lord and Sovereign of all things, I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except You. I take refuge in You from the evil of my soul and from the evil and shirk of the Shaytan and from committing wrong against my soul or bringing such upon a Muslim.

—Dua # 2

‘…say: “Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith, and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful. ‘ [Surah Al Hashr, 59:10]

I feel the best thing about these duaas is that it prevents us from blaming others and helps us correct the faults within ourselves which we conveniently ignore when we are arguing.

May we be able to reserve that house in Jannah.Ameen.

***

Helpful Book: The Many Dangers of the Tongue

***

And Allah SWT knows best.

[Reminder for myself first then others]

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