Forgiving Others:The INFLuence factor

Bismillahir-rahman-nirahim

In the Name of Allah SWT-the Always All Merciful, the Especially Merciful

Asalamoalaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

May Allah’s Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon you all!

Month of Mercy yields His Forgiveness. How about if we show a little mercy while the Shayateen are chained so that it is much easier to do that as well.

There may not be a single person on the face of this earth who hasn’t had issues with another human being. It’s normal. Meaning it’s normal to have differences but here’s where Islam intervenes. Islam mediates your attitude about what you do about such situations.

Know that when someone misbehaves with you or hurts you, they are under the ‘influence’ of something. That something could be their problems at work, with spouse, with themselves, depression, lack of real Islamic knowledge about Ikhlaq, over inflated self aka arrogance and the list can go on. You should pity such people and help them out instead of shirking them the next time they cross the hallway. This is what you should do:

(1) Think of your most difficult time of your life when you had this terrible mood

(2) Imagine how you would’ve behaved if someone came to you when you were in that terrible mood

(3) Now forgive the person who misbehaved with you because if YOU can behave cranky at times then allow the other person to behave that way too

(4) Make duaa for them and for yourself

(5) Go upto them and ask them how they’re doing and it’s most likely that you’ll find out that they’re having a bad day (self-fulfilling prophecy)

***

There are some people who are just never going to be nice to you…and that’s probably due to 2 reasons:

(1) you’ve actually annoyed them recently or way back in the past

OR

(2)you have something they don’t have so maybe they’re just a little jealous

In the first scenario, you should hasten to seek their forgiveness.

“Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or something, let him ask him for forgiveness before the time when there will be neither dinar nor dirham, and if he has any good deeds it will be taken from him in proportion to the wrong he did, and if he does not have any good deeds (hasanaat), some of the other person’s evil deeds (sayi’aat) will be taken and given to him to bear.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2296).

And in the second scenario, you should try breaking the ice and be extra nice to them either by giving them a gift or anything at all to make them feel special. Mostly people who are jealous have low self-esteem or low confidence in their own abilities and are hungry for attention. They probably even feel inferior when they compare themselves to you. Feed them positivity in a polite way and you’ll see them change colours inshaa’Allah!

***

Most importantly, some people end up gossiping about those people who have hurt them and justify gossiping by calling them ‘rants’. However, these ‘rants’ should be avoided because at the peak of negative emotion, one can backbite very easily and hurt anyone’s honor. If you fear that you have gossiped about that person, you could do the following:

(1) Ask Allah SWT’s forgiveness, regret the whole thing and resolve never to go back to it

(2) make duaa for their forgiveness and it will be even better if you pray 2 Rakahs asking Allah SWT to forgive you and them

(3) pay Sadaqah on their behalf (even if it’s 50 cents)

(4) Give them a gift: could be a smile/flower/hug or anything at all

Nobody is genuinely ‘bad’, it’s just Shaytan which distracts them and affects their manners!

***

Always remember: if someone hurts you, Allah SWT is giving you an opportunity to become Al Mohsin and a major opportunity to gain His Love!

Surah Ale Imran: “Those who spend [in Allâh’s Cause] in prosperity and in adversity,who repress anger, and who pardon men out of affection; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn (the good – doers). “(134)

For  true believers, one verse is enough to motivate them regardless of the many verses which encourage forgiving others!

***

For you to research this Ramadan: how did Abu Bakr RA forgive the man who slandered his daughter Aisha RA (the Story of Ifk in Surah An-Noor)? What was the verse revealed? How can you model that in your life?

***

And Allah SWT knows best.

May Allah SWT give us the strength to forgive others this Ramadan and help us become Al-Muhsinûn. Ameen.

Advertisements

One Response to “Forgiving Others:The INFLuence factor”

  1. Walaikum salam wrwb

    Nice and thanx ….for quick reminder !

    May Allah bless u ameen

    wassalam

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: